Christmas cheer

Celebrating Christmas in our Spanish casa. Feliz Navidad!

My delightful new Dyson!

Okay, my friend Rachel was right! How could I ever go back to my old ways, after using her Dyson vacuum cleaner?! So, now I'm a new, proud owner myself! Mine is grey and bright yellow. It looks like Ethan's favorite transformer, "BumbleBee" (from the recent "Transformers" movie). So, that's what we've nicknamed it. I realize it's a bit wierd to name a vacuum but hey, it makes it fun for the kids to use "the transformer." We don't have any carpet but we've purchased a few area rugs so we can vacuum those and the this thing vacuums up the dust balls on marble floors much better than a broom can do it. So, I'm very happy with my VERY expensive "toy."
Our household goods were FINALLY delivered last week. So now "the gang's all here." We're trying to find places for everything but it seems to be a long process. How exactly will we hang all of our pictures and artwork with concrete and tile walls throughout the house?
Our electricty is still tripping the breaker several times a day. I'm so tired of staggering our electrical usage. For instance, I can't use the washer and dryer at the same time. So it's one load at a time. And I certainly can't dry clothes and run the dishwasher at the same time. In the evening when our radiators are "heating" our house, the electricity trips off if we also bathe the children because of the electric water heaters all working at the same time. Anyway, it's frustrating. Today I recieved a call from the landlord that the electrician has tried to stop by three times when we weren't home. However, they won't set an appointment. I'm just expected to be home from the time the service request is put in until they decide to show up. It's a Spanish attitude that we are trying to used to. Very relaxed.
OH, gotta run... my kids are getting stir crazy and I'm still dependant on this cyber cafe for internet use! Internet hookup at home is another problem we are trying to figure out. ugh!

My unopened gift

I've debated about including this on my blog because it's so personal. But, I guess I feel okay about posting it now. Maybe it will share insight into the emotional difficulties of pregnancy loss. I wrote this in December and it proved to be a good theraputic outlet for me.

Like an unopened gift, resting beneath a tree of light
anticipation and excitement fill your thoughts
of what might be the most prized gift of all.
Oh, the desire to know more about what is waiting beneath the layers of disguise!
But for now, you have to wait
and trust that it will be in your hands and in your life soon enough.

Will it complicate you?
Will it keep you too busy?
Will it help slow life down?
Will it be big and strong or small and meek?
What about colors, textures, weaknessess, strengths, talents, personality...
You can never quite know what it is you will get in this gift
that you can neither see nor hold
until a much anticipated date.

Who can offer me this kind of gift?
I know it comes from the loving hands of all creation
the Alpha & Omega, the King of all kings, the Almighty God,
my Father in Heaven.
Am I worthy of a such a gift,
something made in the image of God?
If so, why would He hand me this gift of new life
with just enough time to embrace it in thought
but not in my arms, not into my life?

It's not nice! It's not fair!
What a cruel joke to play on me!
You can't just hand someone a gift
and then snatch it away
in an exchange of tears and heartache!
I wanted to keep this gift
to open it and treasure it
to nurture and care for it.

I've been given gifts like this one before
I'm surrounded by them everyday.
So why do I want more? Am I not grateful enough
of the gifts I already have in my life?
What's wrong with me?
Why am I no longer complete?

It's especially hard to encounter other people
that are holding their own precious gifts.
Some are unopened, others are newly unwrapped.
May God continue to bless them!
(But what about me? Why did mine get taken back?)

The tree of light is lovely
the garland and ribbons just right.
The gifts are overflowing
I just seem to stay focused on
what might have been...
what should have been...
mine...
to keep...

Settling in a bit

The food here is different - Mediterranean diet - not remotely related to Mexican food. We're going to have to get used to eating green olives just as a snack. Lots of fish and pork. Not much chicken. Dinner is usually from 9:30 PM to midnight. Trying to find a place to eat at 6 PM is impossible. Lunch times are also strange and certain restaurants are open only for certain times. Tappas are the "snacks" and places are dedicated to them specifically. Bars are not bars, they're family establishments. Children are welcomed anywhere and at any time.

We rented an incredibly small car. If you've ever seen movies with the microscopic cars, that's what we have. Barely fits all of us. The trunk/hatchback fits our coats, and a 5 bags of groceries, and that's about it. Our Montero just arrived this week. That was a big suprise as we didn't expect it for another month. Ultimately we'll need another vehicle but we'll probably return our rental car soon.
We're pretty close to the beach which is incredible. Summers here
are reportedly insane, because people come from all over Europe to hang out at the beaches. Should be interesting. Spain is not cheap. For some reason I thought it would be.

It will be interesting to live off-base and integrate into the Spanish community. People don't speak English as much as we were led to believe, but so far we've done alright. Travis has learned a ton of Spanish in just a few weeks. The rest of us are catching on but we seem to rely on his language skills most of the time. Necessity breeds motivation. We are settling into our house now. We moved in almost two weeks. Our express shipment was delivered a few days ago. It was nice to see familiar things that we own. Now all of our beds have a homemade Grandma quilt on them. Each one of the kids have thier new ones and I have our heavy levi quilt on my bed. New heaters were finally installed this week too. So now it's much warmer in our house. We bought a couple of area rugs for the living room and the hallway so that is making it a bit more cozy also.
The base opened up a new shopping center this week. It's been about 50 years since they've had new store buildings so everyone here was really exicted about the modern shopping center. It's very nice! They even have a Subway Sandwich shop and Starbucks! The grand opening was just three days ago and it seemed to be a huge success. Travis got off work early because there were no patients - everyone was shopping! We are headed to the new grocery store, called the Commisary, after we finish here at the library. We desperatley need groceries so it will probably take us awhile.

Kindred Konnection

I loved reading our family newsletter. What a nice taste of home. It's so nice to hear from everyone at the same time. Thanks for organizing it Amy.
Well, we now have a place to call home! We spent our first night in our new house last night and all went well. It was a little cold because the heaters won't be worked on for a couple of weeks from now. It's not too cold outside (yet) but the homes don't warm up from the sun, during the winter. They are made with concrete walls and ceilings, not wood and insulation. The floors are all freezing cold marble! I feel like we are in a museum with the marble floors and the few pieces of rental furniture in each room. We'll definately have to buy some rugs and slippers but socks (and shoes) will have to work for now. The military delivered rental beds, tables, chairs and couches for us to use until our own furniture arrives (in a month). It has five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms a big living room/dining room with a fire place and lots of built in shelves. We have a glass wall/door, enclosed patio that is practicaly begging for a hot tub for Travis, plus a lovely, tiled, courtyard patio too. It should work out very well for us while we are living here.
Travis is enjoying some vacation days this week so we can settle into our house and tour around southern Spain a bit. We've had a great time touring a couple of Spanish cities within 1-2 hours from our house. Yesterday, we were thrilled and amazed at the reality of how we spent the day. We took our passports, crossed the border and spent the day in Gibralter! It was wonderful! We spent about two hours touring the "The Rock of Gibralter" inside and outside. We took a private guided tour to drive around and up the top of the Rock and had several stops along the way to tour caves, mines and visit the local, wild, free range apes. We have some great photos of it all so I'll post them after I have full access a internet from home. (I'm still having to drive into the base to use the cyber cafes) Tomorrow we're planning another day trip and will probably head to Sevilla. Then on Monday, Travis will start working (and taking his first patients as an FNP!) and I'll try to normalize our routine and days with the children.

local tours

We are in the middle of our ICR class this week to learn the culture and customs of Spain and about the base here. Today we got on a big tour bus to tour Rota, visit a fish market, shop in the gypsy market, tour a 11th century castle and catholic church and enjoy an authentic Spanish meal at a local restraunt. The kids were with us and it was very enjoyable. Tomorrow we'll be touring the city of Cadiz.

We're still house hunting and we've found one that we really like but it's a little smaller then our home in San Clemente so we're a bit hesitant to move into it. Everything about it is nice though. It's just a bit small for us to "live in". One other home is huge, almost too big, very nice, but no A/C or heat. This really concerns us but we may decide it's better than the first one. If we can negociate to have A/C and heat installed before we move in, we may go with that one. It's quite a job to find a suitable home.

life and death in a matter of days

Ten days of wondering if I was pregnant
Ten days of working through the emotions and reality of a new baby...enjoying "my secret"
Ten days of "medical confirmation" and sharing the big news with my children, family, and friends
Ten days of bleeding, depression, loss, dispair, moving
Ten more days to go...
Life is changing too quickly for me to keep up with. How do I get through this? What do I pray for?
My prayer was to have this baby...why was I ignored? why was I cheated? why was I played as a pawn? why did this begin and end at such a difficult time and in a such a difficult way? why didn't my baby develop properly? WHY??? For crying out loud, WHY???? and what do I do now?

loss and change

I regret to share what I've been through the last couple of weeks. Thirty hours before we had to move out of our house (which was already empty), and leave our car for moving, I was at the E.R. and diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage. I had nothing, no home, no vehicle, and I was now losing my baby. We only had a few suitcases of clothes and each other. I had a 23 hour plane ride ahead of me with a foriegn country as my destination. I was blown away with emotion, raging hormones, confusion, and loss. It was like we were we under a rolling boulder that we couldn't stop and didn't know how to get away from. So I boarded the plane and had to deal with my miscarriage all the way to Spain. I went to the doctor on Wednesday and had another ultrasound to confirm that I've finished the miscarriage. She said I'll probably be done within a week and that everything was "good". I cried through the whole appointment. The day we left, I decided that I had no choice but to take a leap of faith and live what the Bible says to do...trust in the Lord. The scripture that I focused on is in Matthew 11. It shares that all who are weary and burrdoned should rest in the Lord for comfort. (I should have memorized it by now, but at this moment with all the distractions, that the best I can do right now.) At this point, I guess I'm just getting through each day as it comes. Spain is very different! I didn't come here with any expectations so everything has been interesting and odd. The 4 bdrm homes on base are all occupied so we've been house hunting out in the cities of Rota and El Puerto de la Santa Maria. El Puerto seems to be where we'll end up. Most houses have no A/C or heat and all have tile or marble floors throughout. They all have 7 foot walls around the properties so it's almost impossible to see what the property looks like until we have a key and a tour guide. Makes for a long week of driving around the neighborhoods while the kids watch movies on our DVD player.
I'm at the hospital cyber cafe and don't have much time to be here so I'll write again when I have a little more time.

Bon Voyage

...and we're off!!!! My computer is getting packed up in the morning. My next entry will be from somewhere in Spain! I'm so excited! It's been a very crazy week but we are taking it one day at a time since there is so much going on each day this week.
We fly out of San Diego airport on Tuesday morning and will arrive in Rota around 3:00 on Wednesday. It should be a nice, loooooong couple of days of travel! We change planes twice. First one in Atlanta, Georgia and the second time in Madrid, Spain. We'll be in temporary housing/hotel on the base until we get a house. Our Express shipment of household goods should arrive in 5-6 weeks (a shipment not to exceed 1000lbs). Then the majority of our things are expected by the end of November. So, by Christmas, we'll hopefully be settled into our new place.

Please keep us in prayer during all of this. We're all excited, scared, anxious and exhausted at this point. It's a big move!!!

Sharing a secret

Want to Know a Secret?

I have a little secret
secure and deep inside.
I've had this kind of secret
a total of five times.
It's exciting, scary, overwhelming
I need a little more time
to think this over,
to get some perspective,
to accept it and embrace it.

He says, "Okay!"
I say, "No Way!"
When did this happen?
We can't track it down
It's been a busy summer
I didn't write everything down.

"Surprise!" says the test
that I carefully took.
And now I'm looking through boxes
for my pregnancy book!

Oops! - It's out!
My secret slipped out.
Okay then, I'll say it once more...

I'M EXPECTING BABY #4!!!!

9/16/07

The sky is the limit

Travis and I celebrated our last days in the U.S. by enjoying a hot air balloon ride this month! We had such a great time! I've always wanted to fly in a balloon. So for our 16th wedding anniversary, Travis gave me a jigsaw puzzle of a bunch of hot air balloons. At the bottom of the box he had a note that said, "Look what we are going to be doing!" I was thrilled. It was positivily peaceful and romantic and adventurous! We flew in the Fantasia balloon over the Del Mar, CA area. We have now been duly initiated into the sport of ballooning.

The Balloonist Prayer:
The winds have welcomed you with softness, the sun has blessed you with his warm hands. You have flown so high and so well that God has joined you in laughter, and set you gently back into the loving arms of mother earth.