local tours

We are in the middle of our ICR class this week to learn the culture and customs of Spain and about the base here. Today we got on a big tour bus to tour Rota, visit a fish market, shop in the gypsy market, tour a 11th century castle and catholic church and enjoy an authentic Spanish meal at a local restraunt. The kids were with us and it was very enjoyable. Tomorrow we'll be touring the city of Cadiz.

We're still house hunting and we've found one that we really like but it's a little smaller then our home in San Clemente so we're a bit hesitant to move into it. Everything about it is nice though. It's just a bit small for us to "live in". One other home is huge, almost too big, very nice, but no A/C or heat. This really concerns us but we may decide it's better than the first one. If we can negociate to have A/C and heat installed before we move in, we may go with that one. It's quite a job to find a suitable home.

life and death in a matter of days

Ten days of wondering if I was pregnant
Ten days of working through the emotions and reality of a new baby...enjoying "my secret"
Ten days of "medical confirmation" and sharing the big news with my children, family, and friends
Ten days of bleeding, depression, loss, dispair, moving
Ten more days to go...
Life is changing too quickly for me to keep up with. How do I get through this? What do I pray for?
My prayer was to have this baby...why was I ignored? why was I cheated? why was I played as a pawn? why did this begin and end at such a difficult time and in a such a difficult way? why didn't my baby develop properly? WHY??? For crying out loud, WHY???? and what do I do now?

loss and change

I regret to share what I've been through the last couple of weeks. Thirty hours before we had to move out of our house (which was already empty), and leave our car for moving, I was at the E.R. and diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage. I had nothing, no home, no vehicle, and I was now losing my baby. We only had a few suitcases of clothes and each other. I had a 23 hour plane ride ahead of me with a foriegn country as my destination. I was blown away with emotion, raging hormones, confusion, and loss. It was like we were we under a rolling boulder that we couldn't stop and didn't know how to get away from. So I boarded the plane and had to deal with my miscarriage all the way to Spain. I went to the doctor on Wednesday and had another ultrasound to confirm that I've finished the miscarriage. She said I'll probably be done within a week and that everything was "good". I cried through the whole appointment. The day we left, I decided that I had no choice but to take a leap of faith and live what the Bible says to do...trust in the Lord. The scripture that I focused on is in Matthew 11. It shares that all who are weary and burrdoned should rest in the Lord for comfort. (I should have memorized it by now, but at this moment with all the distractions, that the best I can do right now.) At this point, I guess I'm just getting through each day as it comes. Spain is very different! I didn't come here with any expectations so everything has been interesting and odd. The 4 bdrm homes on base are all occupied so we've been house hunting out in the cities of Rota and El Puerto de la Santa Maria. El Puerto seems to be where we'll end up. Most houses have no A/C or heat and all have tile or marble floors throughout. They all have 7 foot walls around the properties so it's almost impossible to see what the property looks like until we have a key and a tour guide. Makes for a long week of driving around the neighborhoods while the kids watch movies on our DVD player.
I'm at the hospital cyber cafe and don't have much time to be here so I'll write again when I have a little more time.