Christmas cheer

Celebrating Christmas in our Spanish casa. Feliz Navidad!

My delightful new Dyson!

Okay, my friend Rachel was right! How could I ever go back to my old ways, after using her Dyson vacuum cleaner?! So, now I'm a new, proud owner myself! Mine is grey and bright yellow. It looks like Ethan's favorite transformer, "BumbleBee" (from the recent "Transformers" movie). So, that's what we've nicknamed it. I realize it's a bit wierd to name a vacuum but hey, it makes it fun for the kids to use "the transformer." We don't have any carpet but we've purchased a few area rugs so we can vacuum those and the this thing vacuums up the dust balls on marble floors much better than a broom can do it. So, I'm very happy with my VERY expensive "toy."
Our household goods were FINALLY delivered last week. So now "the gang's all here." We're trying to find places for everything but it seems to be a long process. How exactly will we hang all of our pictures and artwork with concrete and tile walls throughout the house?
Our electricty is still tripping the breaker several times a day. I'm so tired of staggering our electrical usage. For instance, I can't use the washer and dryer at the same time. So it's one load at a time. And I certainly can't dry clothes and run the dishwasher at the same time. In the evening when our radiators are "heating" our house, the electricity trips off if we also bathe the children because of the electric water heaters all working at the same time. Anyway, it's frustrating. Today I recieved a call from the landlord that the electrician has tried to stop by three times when we weren't home. However, they won't set an appointment. I'm just expected to be home from the time the service request is put in until they decide to show up. It's a Spanish attitude that we are trying to used to. Very relaxed.
OH, gotta run... my kids are getting stir crazy and I'm still dependant on this cyber cafe for internet use! Internet hookup at home is another problem we are trying to figure out. ugh!

My unopened gift

I've debated about including this on my blog because it's so personal. But, I guess I feel okay about posting it now. Maybe it will share insight into the emotional difficulties of pregnancy loss. I wrote this in December and it proved to be a good theraputic outlet for me.

Like an unopened gift, resting beneath a tree of light
anticipation and excitement fill your thoughts
of what might be the most prized gift of all.
Oh, the desire to know more about what is waiting beneath the layers of disguise!
But for now, you have to wait
and trust that it will be in your hands and in your life soon enough.

Will it complicate you?
Will it keep you too busy?
Will it help slow life down?
Will it be big and strong or small and meek?
What about colors, textures, weaknessess, strengths, talents, personality...
You can never quite know what it is you will get in this gift
that you can neither see nor hold
until a much anticipated date.

Who can offer me this kind of gift?
I know it comes from the loving hands of all creation
the Alpha & Omega, the King of all kings, the Almighty God,
my Father in Heaven.
Am I worthy of a such a gift,
something made in the image of God?
If so, why would He hand me this gift of new life
with just enough time to embrace it in thought
but not in my arms, not into my life?

It's not nice! It's not fair!
What a cruel joke to play on me!
You can't just hand someone a gift
and then snatch it away
in an exchange of tears and heartache!
I wanted to keep this gift
to open it and treasure it
to nurture and care for it.

I've been given gifts like this one before
I'm surrounded by them everyday.
So why do I want more? Am I not grateful enough
of the gifts I already have in my life?
What's wrong with me?
Why am I no longer complete?

It's especially hard to encounter other people
that are holding their own precious gifts.
Some are unopened, others are newly unwrapped.
May God continue to bless them!
(But what about me? Why did mine get taken back?)

The tree of light is lovely
the garland and ribbons just right.
The gifts are overflowing
I just seem to stay focused on
what might have been...
what should have been...
mine...
to keep...